There has been a lot of online chatter about Tyler Perry's latest film, "For Colored Girls," an adaptation of the stage play by Ntozake Shange. I had originally intended to go see the movie but, after having read some of the comments about the overall depressing nature of the film, I may wait for the DVD. The buzz around the film reminds me of the movie "Precious," which some called groundbreaking because it delved into a previously unexplored topic -- familial sexual abuse. But others just couldn't get past the negative feeling they had after sitting through it for two hours at the theater.
One question I've heard over and over again is: Why? Why is it that Hollywood only seems to green light films which depict black men as villains and black women as their victims? Why are there so few happy black couples on the silver screen? Is art reflecting life or is life reflecting art?
I do have my theories and I don't have all of the answers. But I do believe in the Biblical principle that as a man (or woman) thinketh, so is he. As long as these negative images are repeatedly pumped into our heads, and in the psyche of other cultures, these phenomena will continue to grow.
I also believe that the powers that be in Hollywood simply do not want any positive Black images to gain traction. A group that has low self-esteem is easier to exploit and Hollywood and others in the entertainment industry make billions of dollars by exploiting the talents of African American entertainers.
To turn the tide, those of us who have married black men and have outstanding husbands need to be more vocal. What are the qualities that make them outstanding? As one of those women, I find that a lot of single women are simply focused on the wrong things when they are seeking or responding to a potential mate. They are looking at the superficial, rather than the eternal.
They should be asking these questions: Does he love God? Does he love ME? Is he a responsible man, expecting to take care of me and whatever children we produce? Does he have goals? Is he a hard worker? Is he dependable and faithful? Can we build something together?
Throw out your list about what kind of car he drives, what kind of jeans he wears, whether or not he's drop dead gorgeous, is cool or has a walk that just makes you swoon. These things don't matter when the rent needs to be paid, the kids need to be fed and when you are all alone at night because he's out doing his thing.
Women: Be strong, yet supportive. Be persuasive without being bossy. Be feminine, yet productive. Be one of the colored girls who fell in love with and married a good black man.
I enjoy and respect reading your perspective. But, as a single drama free black woman I think my issue is that it is so frustrating that in our culture “it” - our lives, goals, home life, well being, esteem, spirituality etc. - seems to always be tied to a man. Read any magazine cover or listen to a group of women talk from more than thirty minutes. Our lives, goals, highs and lows always seem to be set by the barometer of how the man in my life is treating me or not treating me. And the worst sin of all is being a woman without a man there is no graver sin than being without a man and the explanation is, “you must not like men” or “what’s wrong with you” or my favorite the glance that says “you are lying” and of course my least favorite the look of pity because I am man less. The thesis being that you must have just had a man, looking for a man or licking your wounds from one because of one. You can be and are a whole person without a man and I believe that you must be one with a man or else that is the reason For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf.
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